My Life As A Retarded Fly

Long weekends make me a little happy.

So does sun.

School. Blurgh. Not worth typing about.

Friday, weyhey. Sun. Warmth. Not wearing a jacket. Kelvingrove. Picking daisies and bingo wings. Dinghying of friends.

'It's on the other side of the bridge!... Bolt'

Cookies for Danny. Happy birthday. Party. Cookies went down well. Jack Daniels too. Mm greasy pancakes. Not getting my legs broken. Pretty in Pink. Gay/straight highland dancers. Angus. Loves. Danny.

Mhmm. Shitty weather today. Better clear up tomorrow.

Xx

 

 

YASSSS.

WOOOooo. I am SO fucking addicted to Ebay. I know I'm a late bloomer, I do apologise and plan to make up for lost time.

TAKE THAT PIGEON888. DON'T TRY TO OUTSMART ME.

:) It's all good.

Kiddos.

Hmm. Helen's had some fun in recent days. Long weekend. Good stuff. Friday was boring until going to Claire's. Closing time in woolworths----->picnmixes!!!! Ate Jamie's birthday cake... but not in the presence of Jamie. Dying Claire's hair. *coughbigbrothercough*. Oh. Deformed fingers and one jelly arm.

Then today. Of course. Towning. Cd. 7" singles. Nirvana for stretching of blonde girl's ears. The journey to Ayr was mostly uneventful. Eating yoghurts with forks. Amplifying the postal service. Upon arrival in Ayr there was wandering, searching and finding. A very large queue of Libertines/Babyshambles fans. Then to the empty stage. So to Spar. Tenner. Lying. Unowned. But not for long. Chips on the poor soul.

Return to the stage. Missed Xanadu. Fiddlers fiddling. The return of Colin McIntyre. Got some rather wicked pictures, then it began to rain. And crapness returned to the stage. So we proceed to warmth. Hot chocolate and cream--- EVERYWHERE. More searching.

JAFFA CAKES.

YASS.

RESULT.

More music. Of our own. The best kind.

Then a crushing journey home.

That is my long weekend so far.

Does that not remind you so much of really awful, cheesy, american frat house films?
Not that I really liked the term 'Easter Holidays' either.
Shut up Helen.
This is gonna be a good year I tell you.
It will.
Today was dying of hair.
Traipsing round shops.
Getting into the cathouse far, far too early.
Singing, dancing, taking photos and lesbian threesomes.
MCFLURRYS!!!!
And finally, falling up the stairs on the way home.
I have lost all feeling in the palm of my right hand.
That is all for today folks.
Till next time,
May the Pope rest in peace.]






p.s I am so going to bub-whadjamacallit

I AM UPDATING.

 

Hello. Been a while, huh?

I'm pretty good. Shopping today. West end. Freezing.

A top. A jacket. Two things I probably don't need.

Cafe nero. Took my own marshmallows with me. Nearly slammed a door in a music teacher's face. Stuck my tongue out at some poor fellow. I can wear whatever I want on my head.

Home. Intro quiz. I didn't get many points. Mainly 'cause I was the quizmistress and the only decade I could get any from were the 80s.

Goodnight people.

Now check my alien when I put my mood as horny.

The rain, it started tapping on the window near my bed. There was a loophole in my dreaming,
so I got out of it. And to my surprise my eyes were wide and already open.
Just my nightstand and my dresser where those nightmares had just been.
So I dressed myself and left then, out into the gray streets.
But everything seemed different and completely new to me.
The sky, the trees, houses, buildings, even my own body.
And each person I encountered, I couldn't wait to meet.
I came upon a doctor who appeared in quite poor health.
I said "There is nothing I can do for you
you can't do for yourself."
He said "Oh yes you can. Just hold my hand. I think that would help."
So I sat with him a while and then I asked him how he felt.
He said, "I think I'm cured. No, in fact, I'm sure.
Thank you Stranger, for your therapeutic smile."
So that is how I learned the lesson that everyone is alone.
And your eyes must do some raining if you are ever going to grow.
But when crying don't help and you can't compose yourself.
It is best to compose a poem, an honest verse of longing or simple song of hope.
That is why I'm singing...
Baby don't worry cause now I got your back. And every time you feel like crying,
I'm gonna try and make you laugh. And if I can't, if it just hurts too bad,
then we will wait for it to pass and I will keep you company
through those days so long and black.
And we'll keep working on the problem we know we'll never solve
Of Love's uneven remainders, our lives are fractions of a whole.
But if the world could remain within a frame like a painting on a wall.
Then I think we would see the beauty.
Then we would stand staring in awe at our still lives posed like a bowl of oranges,
like a story told by the fault lines and the soil.

 

This song makes me happy when I'm sad.

But I'm happy now, so it's just making me happier.

Just in case anybody out there's feeling sad.

Update! Wonder if I'll actually finish this one. There was me thinking I was up dead early (9.48!!!) Then I realised (well...looked at the clock on the wall)  that the clocks have went back... Ah well, nothing wrong with a 25 hour day. Hmm...so what have I been up to? Yesterday Anna and I went out picture taking. T'was good. Ended up in the west end, with the intention to look for costume ideas, but ended up taking pictures and films at kelvingrove.

Today...I shall dye hair, go out to get stripey tights and hopefully a straw hat. Meeting Vickie's friends. They'd better be good. I'm dressing up as Pippi Longstocking tonight. She rocks.

 

Heyyyyy. I...have no idea why I'm updating.. Hmm. Saturday, kelvingrove with Anna, met Leo and Steph, went home. Went to tha beanscene (I've beeen seeeeeen...at the beanscene) He he...watched people sing and play guitars and stuff on the stage at the open mic...knew a few of them.. 'My daddy, he was a handsome devil, he had a chain bout 10 ft long'.

 Sunday...I...went to the Sparta/Million Dead/Colour of Fire gig. Hmm..Colour of Fire are all twats. Owen looks like a twelve year old anorexic girl. No offense to 12 year old anorexic girls or anything... And s2 makes really stupid jokes and tries to make the crowd laugh all the time. They sounded really good though. Kinda embarassed I bought the tix mainly to see them though.. Million Dead...not my kinda thing, but better than I expected. Sparta were brilliant.

 

 

Aaaaand today. I did nothing. School. Shit. As per usual. No maths teacher though. And I would just like to confirm the spelling of 'shibby' (i.e...not chibby...)

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=shibby

I'm quite satisfied now..

:)   bye bye         

 

Duuuuuuude. But what does mine say??

Ha ha, check my alien.

Okay, okay, I know I haven't updated in ages...and it seems kind of pointless now, but I'm bored and nobody's online. It's 10 am on a Sunday morning, why am I out of my warm bed you ask? Well lets just say my parents are *definitely* awake, and their room is right next to mine. Aaauughh, I wanna cut my ears off...

ANYway...pretty good weekend. Went to Kelvingrove with Anna, Kirstin and Leo, much fun. Then went into town...bought the coolest sunglasses ever. 

       Are they considered, like, ULtra trendy or something?!?

Jennifer's party, six screaming eleven year olds running around playing games in the dark... I swear we never did that, we were nice and quiet. I have no idea what I'm gonna do today, have to wait and see.

Erm...Saturday, cathouse, was alright, Leo hugs a lot of people! Sunday...sickness, Mum convinced I got it from a guys mouth...horrible, throwing up everywhere. Got better. Went and hung out at the station today but Hannah left us and Anna and I were left looking like Nigellas to be sat beside again. Went home, went to the beanscene, second night in a row, had a hot chocolate, talked, went home and watched a crappy film.
I love the holidays, don't you?

Heya all, not updated in ages but don't plan to fill you in so :p. Just back from Croatia and the weather here (Glasgow, Scotland) is depressing me. Just been in town all day, wandering round, getting told to get off the floor in central many times. Saw many guys with black hair, sweep over fringes and lip piercings (hee hee anna). Gotta go out to meet some mates in Shawlands, including Claire Drennan OoOoOoO, been a while since I saw her. (Well technically I saw her about two hours ago but you know what I mean) Me thinks I is going to the crypt the day after today but dunno.

                                           Good Morning

Okay okay, apologies for the lack of updates these last few weeks. Right I'll just quickly run through. Last I spoke to you you heard about my phone being stolen. Well, turns out one of the little lying brats I was talking to about it bought the phone off the thief. Needless to say, I was not amused. I went up to the girl (with a serious lack of help from some of my friends...ANNA...you're just a big wimp) and questioned her. Of course by this time I had cancelled the phone so it was unusable to her. She promised to bring it in for me but of  course there's some big elaborate excuse about some boy from battlefield taking it and blah blah blah. Any way my dad got me a phone for free from his work. T68i, alright, not picture or anything but colour.

Then we had the long weekend last week so that was pretty cool. Last Thursday evening Vickie and I went out with Patric and met him and a few of his friends. He got yelled at and shoved by the Dundee Utd manager, was v. v. v. v. funny. Then on Saturday Anna, Hannah, Hayley, Vickie and I went into Edinburgh. Was alright, didn't actually end up with much time in the town but...hey. We looked around shops and Vickie spotted one of her 'off the internet weirdo friends' but I refused to go up and talk to him with her. Sunday and Monday were pretty much lazy days, you know tidying the house and all that. I've done shitloads of babysittin this week, and I haven't been payed!!!???!!! Was because it was the parents night week at the primary.

Then there's today. I got home earlier on to find my mum telling me that we needed to go to the vets, as Pumpkin (our cat) was ill again. Now we'd already spent a whole night up with her crying a week before but we thought she still had some life in her. I couldn't go with my mum to the vets as Jennifer was not back yet but I wish I had now. She had to be put down, she would have died through the night. I didn't realise how much it would get to me but I was crying for ages. Then I stopped. Then we went round to my gran's to bury her under my cousin David's oak tree and I started again. I was the only one! So embarassing. I'm now sitting with Paddy in my lap. I swear he knew she was sick, he's been so much quieter since she got bad. And now he just sits totally still in my lap, he must know what's happened. Poor thing.

                                      Oh well, that's life, I'm obviously just not a very good person to have pets, I get too emotional.

                                        Night

Not updated in a while, well a while for me. The week hasn't been that uneventful so I'll take you through it.

Wednesday- Incubus concert. It was really good. Brand New were great but their set was a bit short. Inucubus made up for that though, their set was like 2 hours! Now I dunno, but that's the longest I've seen the one band keep going on stage. Anna and I got split up from the rest but that's pretty usual. We got shoved about a bit and ended up a bit futher back than we started up but we could still see pretty well. The crowd was huge and it was a really good atmosphere. The best songs were probably Sick Sad Little World (shit long guitar solo) and Anti Gravity. I leaned back at one point to pull the hair out of my eyes and banged heads with some guy behind me headbanging, He seemed to find it very amusing. I didn't. It hurt.

Saturday- Went and got my nose pierced. It didn't hurt at all but I wasn't at all nervous so I think that may have contirbuted to it. She didn't prepsre me at all though. It was like 'Right I'm just spraying your nose with something cold, now I'm putting a receiver up your nose and-' she stuck the needle in. I was surprised but I suppose it meant I didn't have time to think if it hurt or not.

Sunday- Went to the park. Argued with a bunch of girls. Said girls' little brother stole phone out my back pocket. I went back later and got their names off a bunch of grasses standing at the side of the road. We've put their names into the police, but don't expect to get my phone back. I am very angry.

Today- I hate mondays. 'Nuff said.

                            If you don't leave me alone and stop laughing at me I'll punch your lights out.

P.S Yes that was the phone I'd just found.

P.P.S No I don't expect I will be buying another anytime soon.

I'm dead annoyed, I spent ages writing a big journal entry then got disconnected by the storm. Right, Sunday. Went into town with Patric/Pasty/Ratpic (What the hell am I to call you?!?). Had a laugh, got followed by security guards, spent next to no money.

Then at night, anyone who reads my journal will know...The Vines!! It was brilliant. The supports were good and The Vines were great...if a bit stoned. They were a bit off in the first song or two but then they got into it. It had been changed to the QMU, but it's always better in smaller venues. I got a little bit trampled. We were, as per usual, the smallest people there. Why can't I just grow a little taller? I got sore feet, covered in beer and molested by a half naked sweaty perv,  but it was still brilliant. Then got hassled by parents because they were convinced I'd been drinking. I tried to explain to them that I don't drink, smoke or anything like that, I'll stick to my addiction to all things unbelievably sweet.

Now I'm sitting in my house, totally exhausted (cause I only got like 4 hours sleep) and I have to go help out at brownies! I promised I'd be there this week as they're short of people. Stupid brain...

                    Luv y'all.

Today I was forced to attend a party for my mum's best friend's daughter's first communion (try saying that five times fast). I could tell as soon as I arrived that I was not going to enjoy it...there was not a single child over 12 and not a single adult under 35. I became the resident babysitter (as per usual) and spent the first few hours taking care of the kids.

Then when the kids decided they wanted to go play outside I was forced to join the party. Not two minutes after I sat down in the room did the apparently frequent 'sing song' start...not a single song dating from the 1950s backwards was missed out. Needless to say I was close to tears by the end of it. I have come to the conclusion that either I come from a dysfunctional family that aren't supposed to spend the whole time trying to kill each other, or that this family were taking happy pills and that's the only reason for them treating each other so sickly sweet.

Of course...after that the dancing started. I was in the middle of sneaking my way to the kitchen when an old lady (I have no idea who she was) pulled me up to the dancefloor. I endured one song before convincing my partner that I really needed the toilet. I made it to the kitchen where I discovered the room full of 'I don't dance' men. I spent the rest of the party with them and managed to avoid anymore singing or dancing. Now I am sitting here, relieved to be in the comfort of my own home, with peace and quiet. I just felt the need to share this day with everyone so...

                                      Goodnight

P.S Anne's sister was there, pregnant again! I swear that woman is pregnant with a different kid every time I see her!                              

Hey y'all. Boring week. As in, nothing exciting's happened. Got that student teacher. She's alright but I don't think she likes me very much. Then again, that is the general idea, we get her to hate us so that we don't get any more students.

I spent ages trying to convince my mum to let me got to the Carling weekend in Reiding only to discover it was during school time. I am very upset. Might be going to Download though. Looking forward to, hi Patric, Incubus and the Vines. Oh well, that's about it from me.

                                              Fuck ya all later.

Hey y'all. I am now in the third day of my 'long' weekend. Only problem is, it's went by faster than most. Lets see...Friday I went into town and didn't do much. Yesterday Anna, Vickie and I went into town for Vickie to get her hair done. While Vickie was in the hairdressers Anna and I spotted a sort of anti-capatalism/anti-globalisation rally (well really her sister spotted us). When Vickie got out we joined it and marched to the west end with it.

It was really nice, really sunny. Can't be bothered saying much more except that today was boring and I just walked around the southside with a splitting headache. I don't know what I'm gonna do tomorrow. I shall retire now as that said headache appears to be coming back to haunt me.

                     Goodbye Cruel World

                                                   Helen

Hello people. Not much to say today, I feel sick. I had a good day at school though. Or rather, I didn't have a bad day at school. My cat is banging his head off the computer desk. He seems to be getting great pleasure from it. Quite scary... Why do I wear black when I have a ginger cat?

Not doing very well on the art front. Took a sketch for a character design through to the living room with me. Jennifer looked over my shoulder and said "Ooooh I like that girl".    

 

It was a guy. A main character guy. Why can I not draw masculine guys? Should the first few strips show them all naked at one point, just to make sure? I miss food. I can't eat anything or I feel sick. I cannot wait till the concerts. Wonder if I'll be able to get out of bed for school the next morning?

Ooooh, still haven't asked my mum about the opera thing on wednesday...as in will she pleeeaaase pay for it. It's educational. Even if we are just going to get out of maths. Anyway, better go ER's on.

                              Buh Bye xxx

 

P.S. Would only popular people comment on this entry please (as in...people like me) as it isn't very good for my image to be seen associating with geeks or dorks.

P.P.S Wow I feel american...havta go, can here Covach's voice next door.

I've had a pretty good day. Well I haven't really been feeling well but apart from that I'm great. Stayed up far too late last night, tired, slept in. Went into town with Vickie and booked The Vines tickets. Then we met up with the rest of the gang. Didn't buy anything but went to the hairdressers and got my hair cut. It's pretty short now, but not like a crop pr anything. Should have a pic up soon. Vickie's staying at my place tonight but we're round at her's the now. Her place is huge! I can't believe how posh the house and the area is.

                                 Luv ya